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News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
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News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
Say Hello To the Gods of ‘The Barely Menstrual’: Starlet Roll Call and Cheat Sheet
06.02.09 | Permalink | 20 CommentsSunday night’s MTV Movie awards, while totally amusing, proved once and for all that MTV is the network of rugrats. The Olds (in the MTV handbook, anyone over 22) are being ignored while the not yet able to drive or menstruate or do their hair properly tween fetuses are the ruling landlords of the pop cultural [...]
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News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
Fuckin’ amateurs. THIS is how you do it: ACTORS CONTINUE TREND OF IRL FLOUNCING
Joaquin Phoenix’s crazy-ass retirement from acting to be a rapper/possible Andy Kaufman-esque practical joke seems to have started an exodus of sorts. However, most of the current crop of retirees have loftier career goals than “look like a Section 8 hobo and flummox David Letterman while occasionally ‘rapping’”. Just as well. Trying to out-insane the [...]
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News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
Guess whose back in the Ayatollah’s house, with a fat dick in yo motherfuckin’ mouth?
03.03.09 | Permalink | 2 CommentsSmoking weed is a perfectly normal pastime.
Everyone is entitled to smoke a spliff and stick a phallic shaped snack item into a jar of peanut butter, roll it around in a pile of melted chocolate chips, and declare it the greatest fucking food of all time. But smoking weed multiple times a day for twenty [...] -
News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
Cage Corner: Scenes Before The Fall.
Look at Classic Cage: unconventional and engrossing
Here’s a taste of his newest project:
A teacher (Cage) opens a time capsule that has been dug up at his son’s elementary school; in it are some chilling predictions — some that have already occurred and others that are about to — that lead him to believe his family [...] -
News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
A Stern Warning: Winslet! Jump in Our Lifeboat and Get Off ‘Sinking Ship Gwyneth’
01.26.09 | Permalink | 2 CommentsDear Kate Winslet,
On behalf of all humans with a honeypot and a brain enough to not suggest He’s Just Not That Into You at our next book club, I am issuing you a warning.
And it’s only a warning. I am by no means backhanding you and telling you in a drunken macho slur that it’s [...] -
News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
You Should Always Blame Gwennie Paltrow: Joaquin Phoenix’s Rock Band — Andy Kaufman Performance Art or Career Suicide?
01.23.09 | Permalink | 4 CommentsTo quote RDJ in Zodiac: This can no longer be ignored. “This” being Joaquin Phoenix’s decision to retire from acting, first to be in a rock band, then — presumably when he remembered that he isn’t actually Johnny Cash — as a rapper under the tutelage of Diddy.
His debut was in Las Vegas earlier this [...] -
News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
“Sorry, I only Buy My Groceries at ‘Sharper Image’”: WITHER SKYMALL???
12.24.08 | Permalink | 2 CommentsWe should have seen this coming in February when The Sharper Image declared bankruptcy. Capitalism is only as strong as its most frivolous impulses, and The Sharper Image was, in that regard, the pinnacle of our achievement as Americans. Now that they have fallen, however, there is only store where we can compete with the [...]
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News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
The best minds of my generation = NOT whoever cast James Franco as Allen Ginsberg
12.02.08 | Permalink | 17 CommentsLook, I know. I know this exactly what every one said about Ledger and the Joker. And I KNOW! But, seriously guys. Come onnnn!
Just because Franco takes creative writing classes at UCLA Extension doesn’t mean he’s serious and bookish. Just because he once played James Dean doesn’t mean he can automatically be any given rebellious
figure [...] -
News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
PirateWatch 2008: Hey, Somalis! It’s Only Cute When Disney Does It!
In spite of being in tatters after decades of warlords battling each other, horrific religious violence, and running off all the really talented people like Iman, Somalia has got one thing going for it: PIRATES.
With piracy considered the most lucrative career in the country, these motherfuckers aren’t prancing around in eyeliner, doing Keith Richards impersonations, [...] -
News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
We Are All Santino: Who is to Blame for the Suckery of Project Runway 5?
10.08.08 | Permalink | 9 CommentsWe can all bitch and moan about what’s become of our beloved Runway in season five, but the signs were already there. Even The USA Today had noticed that winning big on Project Runway was even more meaningless in the fashion industry than an American Idol win was for a musical career, and Bravo set [...]
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