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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
“Who Am I? I’m The Guy Who Does His Job. You Must Be The Other Guy”: The Clutch Players, The Go-To-Guys Are the Best Ad Men
03.04.09 | Permalink | 2 CommentsThere seems to be an uptick in patting the hardworking middle-class men on their collective sweaty backs in advertising. It’s a bit of a paradigm tweak, no? When you consider that 20th century advertising was conceived to be a tantalizing vision of the way your life could be: luxurious, elegant, modern. But now there’s [...]
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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Fake Whiskey Watch 2009: “The Knot” Tries to Sell Dick Syrup as Whiskey
Dear Sirs,
I recently came across your “Irish Whiskey Liqueur” in the Irish Whiskey section of a liquor store, and was moved by the sentiments of serious drinking and commitment to one’s alcohol expressed upon the label. When I opened the bottle and smelled its contents, I was confused by hints of vanilla and floral notes, [...] -
9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Shit In Your Bronzer: M.A.C.’s Baby Jane in Drag Ad Campaign
02.09.09 | Permalink | 4 CommentsYour campy sense of irony will not save you this time MAC. Your use of some obscure Australian comedian who dresses up like an old lady in drag to hawk your iridescent “eye-shimmer” at me will not work!
Any lady that has slathered her lips in the $26 goop harbors a secret suspicion that the [...] -
9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Take a Bow Baby Boomers: Pepsi’s Bob Dylan Bukkake Makes the World A More Honest place
02.04.09 | Permalink | 6 CommentsOne night my father sat me down — I was about 10 — and sternly explained that we we’re going to spend t the nigh listening to “records.” One by one my dad played me the best albums of 1967. He described what Jim Morrison looked like when he would writhe around on stage with [...]
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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
“Put a Ring on It!” And By “It” We Mean Our Vaginas: A Renaissance in Vag-Product Advertising
11.24.08 | Permalink | 6 CommentsHey remember this one: the 30 second Vagisil ad that flashed images of skunks, crusteans, and fishies to convince ladies their lack of freshness could be related to CROTCH ROT? Deviously, that little ad managed to encapsulate all the ancient, terrifying notions of Vaginas: bleedy, mysterious pits of danger and stench.
But there’s great [...] -
9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Like The Sound of Your Parents Having Sex: FREE CREDIT REPORT DOT COM JINGLE MUST BE STOPPED
10.20.08 | Permalink | 5 CommentsWho is this diabolical sadist? How did this greasy alt-bro fuck come up with the most bone-crushingly catchy jingle in the history of sound?! When did he sell his soul to belezebub in exchange for my brain’s synapses to CONSTANTLY twitch and buzz with his awful songs? Like a whore who suddenly moans in [...]
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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Wait, what happened to the Dragons?: Kid Rock National Guard Video Terrifies you While You Wait for ‘Nick and Norah’ To Begin
10.09.08 | Permalink | 2 CommentsForget singing popcorn and poor Hollywood folk begging you not to buy pirated movies in Koreatown! There’s a new annoyance in your multiplex.
Kid Rock is a motherfuckin’ patriot. He breathes red, white, and blue. He is a warrior. A warrior that has annihilated his shampoo bottle into non-existence. So you don’t have to waste 2:35 [...]
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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
At Your Feet: Still Recovering From a Freelance Weekend of Blown Deadlines and Puzzling ‘Mad Men’ Episodes
10.06.08 | Permalink | 11 CommentsSome one please imagine for me what this pitch must have been like. You talk and I’ll lay my head on the cool, uncaring, surface of my desk.
via
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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Celebrity Empowerment Watch 2008!: Self-Satisfied Millionaires Guilt Trip You Into Not Voting
10.02.08 | Permalink | 2 CommentsHollywood wants you to vote (as long as you’re not a Republican). The video is smug, sanctimonious, and for some reason openly hostile. I think the creators were aiming for some type of 2k8 post-rational, ironic, sarcastic, detachment vibe. Instead the actual effect comes closer to being a guilt bukkake on the face of [...]
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9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Serious Thespian Jessica Alba Gets Naked. Again! But This Time, for a Cause, Y’all!
10.02.08 | Permalink | 3 CommentsThe least likeable of all the Jessicas has gone and gotten all political (again!) in an ad reminiscent of some misogynistic orthodontia rape fantasy. I don’t even know what declare yourself means. And I’m sure the sex offenders this ad appeals to probably don’t want to declare themselves either (there’s zoning laws for that [...]
Culture, Crass & Sass From The Head Of The Class.
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