The Archives

Let's Talk Shit!
What Do We Want? “LOWER STANDARDS!” When Do We Want It? “NOW!”: Whiny Liberal Arts Majors Complain About Not Getting Enough Partial Credit
02.20.09 | Permalink | 11 Comments

The Times has an article about kids who believe they should be graded on how hard they try instead of what they actually produce in class. By this logic brain surgeons who left sponges in patients skulls shouldn’t be sued because they tried really hard. Or hedge fund managers who lost billions of dollars shouldn’t [...]
9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Fake Whiskey Watch 2009: “The Knot” Tries to Sell Dick Syrup as Whiskey
02.19.09 | Permalink | Comment?

Dear Sirs,
I recently came across your “Irish Whiskey Liqueur” in the Irish Whiskey section of a liquor store, and was moved by the sentiments of serious drinking and commitment to one’s alcohol expressed upon the label. When I opened the bottle and smelled its contents, I was confused by hints of vanilla and floral notes, [...]
Lifestyles of the Bitch and Blog Famous
From The Desk of Schadenfreude Esq.: What’s Good for Facebook is Good for America
02.17.09 | Permalink | 17 Comments

Remember that time that The Internet threw a fit about their information being made available to advertisers on Facebook? Or that time that The Internet threw a fit about Google Chrome’s End User License Agreement?
I mean, both of these were more than a month ago, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t.
Anyways, it’s happening [...]
Rockwell.
Jarvis Cocker on Banjo: A Requiem for ‘Silver Jews’. No Seriously, They’re Good!
02.12.09 | Permalink | 3 Comments

Take note: this is how cults get started. Silver Jews, a twangy indie rock band that was the toast of New York hipsters, recently announced their bowing out from the “scene.” So like the clan of kiffiyeh-clad Brooklynites, I too mourn the vacuum where clever, moving things were once croaked.
I’m lukewarm on folk-y [...]
Something Something Rhymes With Politics
High School Yearbook Photos Are Windows Into The Soul: Nancy Pelosi Wore Pads Til Graduation
02.12.09 | Permalink | 8 Comments

Joe Biden was like that popular, involved-in-everything (French club, track team, tax audit enthusiasts, class president — or maybe VICE president, HMMM?) guy who was still inexplicably nice to even the nerdiest of nerds. You also know that he had the same girlfriend for like ever. But that one time at a party he gave [...]
Digg If You Will...
Move Over, Pornography! THIS IS WHY THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED: Paul Rudd Fights Robots
02.11.09 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Specifically: So the masses could see the best parts of a terrible Hong Kong action movie called Gen Y Cops, without having to purchase it or sit through the more boring parts.
Gen Y Cops stars a bleached-blonde Paul Rudd, who is clearly just paying the rent with this trash. I’m not sure which is funnier: [...]
Everything's Going to be All White
Represent: The Soothing, Replenshing Power of Jay-Z
02.11.09 | Permalink | 3 Comments

Somewhere between the fluffy fun of Snoop Dogg and the unflinching introspection of Elliot Smith lays Jayz’s work. And it’s perfect.
When I listen to Jay-Z my mood changes. I intetailly listen to his albums for hours at a time during work or transit because its cathartic. As some of you may know I resigned [...]
News That's Too Serious For MSNBC
Cage Corner: Scenes Before The Fall.
02.11.09 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Look at Classic Cage: unconventional and engrossing

Here’s a taste of his newest project:
A teacher (Cage) opens a time capsule that has been dug up at his son’s elementary school; in it are some chilling predictions — some that have already occurred and others that are about to — that lead him to believe his family [...]
9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It
Shit In Your Bronzer: M.A.C.’s Baby Jane in Drag Ad Campaign
02.09.09 | Permalink | 4 Comments

Your campy sense of irony will not save you this time MAC. Your use of some obscure Australian comedian who dresses up like an old lady in drag to hawk your iridescent “eye-shimmer” at me will not work!
Any lady that has slathered her lips in the $26 goop harbors a secret suspicion that the [...]
Digg If You Will...
People who read too many blogs will enjoy its place in the blogosphere as “something different,” while I can imagine some teen coming to it as a bible/justification for their alternative lifestyle and attitude problems
02.06.09 | Permalink | 4 Comments

This was the week when The Internet won. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the internet.

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February 2009

The Archives

Let's Talk Shit!

What Do We Want? “LOWER STANDARDS!” When Do We Want It? “NOW!”: Whiny Liberal Arts Majors Complain About Not Getting Enough Partial Credit

9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It

Fake Whiskey Watch 2009: “The Knot” Tries to Sell Dick Syrup as Whiskey

Lifestyles of the Bitch and Blog Famous

From The Desk of Schadenfreude Esq.: What’s Good for Facebook is Good for America

Rockwell.

Jarvis Cocker on Banjo: A Requiem for ‘Silver Jews’. No Seriously, They’re Good!

Something Something Rhymes With Politics

High School Yearbook Photos Are Windows Into The Soul: Nancy Pelosi Wore Pads Til Graduation

Digg If You Will...

Move Over, Pornography! THIS IS WHY THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED: Paul Rudd Fights Robots

Everything's Going to be All White

Represent: The Soothing, Replenshing Power of Jay-Z

News That's Too Serious For MSNBC

Cage Corner: Scenes Before The Fall.

9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend It

Shit In Your Bronzer: M.A.C.’s Baby Jane in Drag Ad Campaign

Digg If You Will...

People who read too many blogs will enjoy its place in the blogosphere as “something different,” while I can imagine some teen coming to it as a bible/justification for their alternative lifestyle and attitude problems