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Everything's Going to be All White

Refusing To Be Catered To: Hipsters In Hipstertown Too Hip To Lock Hip Bicycles To Hip New Bike Rack

08.26.08 by Matty | 6 Comments | Digg This

New York City recently got a bike rack makeover courtesy of David Byrne, a cycling enthusiast and former frontman for the Talking Heads. The city held a contest for new bike rack designs, and Byrne’s cool-yet-functional racks — shaped like naked ladies, guitars, dollar signs and high-heeled shoes — had just the right combination of local flair, simplicity and celebrity endorsement to get them on the fast track to the sidewalks.

They don’t, however, seem to be going over so well with the locals.

Brooklyn 1121 snapped the photo below of David Byrne’s big red guitar-shaped bike rack (titled: “The Hipster”) sitting COMPLETELY UNUSED on the streets of Williamsburg, Brooklyn — a veritable mecca of hipsters who play the guitar and ride fixed-gear bicycles.

There’s clearly no shortage of bikes. The picture shows bikes locked all around The Hipster, to the old rack and the parking meters, but nobody wants to lock up to David Byrne’s creation.

Fucking Hipsters. After the jump, I’ve put together seven theories to explain their too-hip disdain for hip bike storage.

Seven Theories on why Williamsburg Hipsters refuse to lock their bikes to David Byrne’s bike rack:

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  • It’s, like, art, dude. You can’t just go locking your bike to art.
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  • New bike racks aren’t as “authentic” as street signs and parking meters..
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  • The Talking Heads are, like, too mainstream.
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  • The bright color and interesting shape would upstage a carefully rebuilt yet strategically well-worn vintage Japanese track bike.
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  • Despite iPhones, $3,000 laptops and claiming to be very into bike culture, they simply missed the oft-blogged news about Byrne’s new bike racks and thought it was corporate art for Guitar Center.
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  • Anything recently installed smacks of The Man.
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  • Nobody wants to be the first, but once one kid locks his bike there, it will be overcrowded with bikes that claim to have been chained there “before it was cool.”

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