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Cornering The Douchebag Market: Virgin Airlines Offers “Entourage Experience” For Closeted Junior Investment Bankers With Too Much Money And No Taste

08.27.08 by Ande | 4 Comments | Digg This

Virgin Airlines is teaming up with Entourage to promote the fifth season of Vince & Co living out every frat boy’s circle-jerk fantasy: as an out-of-work actor with a rich friend.

Turtles of the world, this is your chance! Break out the striped shirt and sign up to fly from the mean streets of Queens to an STD-ridden mecca for trashy ex-pornstars in the style you always wanted but never deserved

For a mere $2218 (before taxes and fees), said frat boys — er, frat men — can purchase a first-class round-trip ticket from JFK to Las Vegas, including the full Entourage experience:

Hot flight attendants to convince that your inner-circle status means they should invite you for a little one-on-one time in the bathroom? (She has a great spec script to send you) Check!

In-flight TVs playing the new season of Entourage to inspire your big-spender tips? Check!

Deposition in a high-profile assault investigation? Nope, gotta bring that yourself.

Champagne, Godiva truffles, eye mask, and Kiehl’s products to ensure that your Entourage fantasy lifestyle is a little bit gay? Check!

What, you were expecting Vodka Redbulls and a potent sack of medical marijuana topped off with a gift card to Best Buy? Puh-leeze, this is Virgin, after all. They’ve got class. Totally. Gay. Class.

Despite the meaningless accessorization and vague metrosexuality of the promotion, it’s probably going to be a great publicity stunt. At least, unless one of the douchebags overdoses on coke in the bathroom while trying to take a stewardess from behind, forcing the plane to make an emergency landing in St. Louis where every passenger will be body-cavity searched. Then it would be a terrible publicity stunt.

It’ll also stink to be flying coach on the flight home because you already pawned that first-class return ticket for another twenty minutes with Crystal at the Crazy Horse II. SUCKER!

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« Don’t Worry About The Economy: The World Is A Happy Place, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The LOLCats
» No One Feels Sorry For An Heiress On A Yacht: The Original Missing White Girl