Lifestyles of the Bitch and Blog Famous

You Equals Fucktard: In Defense of Trolling, Meany, Anonybloggers

09.22.08 by Natasha | 8 Comments | Digg This

Alley Insider touched upon a spectre that haunts all of us with tumblr accounts: getting a hate re-blog. Since all of the staff writers at PSI are lusted after and lauded we’ve been spared the acerbic jabs dealt out by these fiendish foes. (oh wait!)

And as much as we all secretly live in fear of having some earnest post of ours reblogged and ridiculed on 80 different dashboards, let’s face it :this is the type of self-policing we need, people. This curbs the population of oversharers. For every oversharing spider there is an venomous hating toad. They keep the delicate balance of the tumblr foodchain.

If you want a kumbaya circle jerk of support and understanding, try livejournal.

Wouldn’t your office cube be a more tranquil place if you didn’t know about the Julia Alison’s bowel movements or the anal proclivities of graphic designers?

This is the public spanking the oversharers cry out for. One of the most odious parts of the Millenial generation is the idea that we all have a personal brand that deserves to be developed and broadcast. The anonybloggers counter with the other deliciously malevolent strain in our generation: GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE. Both are necessary. Both feed the the internet circle of life! As much as we’re excited about buying oversharer extraordinaire Emily Gould’s new book (we are! she can write!) we also agree with this sentiment

From trolling tumblr trainwrecks:

How dare they brag about how many followers they have, as if that isn’t empty self-perpetuating validation? How dare they splash their shitty, fucked up ideas about gender and violence and politics and culture and grammar and themselves all over tumblr, because WE MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING READ IT AND HAVE AN ANEURYSM OVER WHAT FUCKTARDS YOU ALL ARE.

Get a fucking clue. No one owes you anything. You don’t owe anyone anything.

This type of anonymous scolding also serves as polishing school for the young boys and girls of the 2.0 world. Much like the way an overzealous nun would rapt young schoolchildren on the knuckles with a bloody ruler.

For girls who think posting a picture of themselves with the love splatter of an ivy leaguer on their face a is empowering and interesting, anonybloggers teaches them that its not. It should also teach them the irreplaceable value of a fucking moleskin journal.

For the testicle laden young men who use social networking as a tool to hookup with young “emotional” females watch the fuck out. Tumblr troll ladies serve as the corrective blogoptiocon. The only way to be sure there are no bad stories going around about you is to be sure there are no bad stories to tell.

And if you don’t like it then just don’t follow, fucktard.


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