Thirteen years to the day after being acquitted of murdering his ex-wife and her boy toy, a jury in Nevada found OJ Simpson guilty of armed robbery, armed kidnapping, armed burglary, assault with a deadly weapon and conspiracy. If you listen real hard, you can hear Mark Fuhrman laughing and popping the cork out of a champagne bottle.
More Details and a 1992 Nostalgic Photo album after the jump! (Aww you guys remember Court TV?)
This trial was pretty cut-and-dry, unlike the ludicrous media circus that was his first trial. There was no Kato Kaelin; unless you count the actual Kato Kaelin, who’s probably been desperately trying to get commentary work on Tru TV ever since Simpson was arrested again. Let’s just hope no dreadful media figures emerge from this one, like Greta Van Susteren, whose career was launched by the first trial and who now spends her time conducting interviews where she’s obviously stoned, as evidenced by the way she constantly repeats phrases and giggles to herself.
These are heavy-duty crimes, and unless a lot of them are overturned on appeal, Simpson is likely going to die inside prison. Thus sparing us another couple of decades of having him force himself on the public as some kind of gruesome joke. Why did he even do crap like that, anyway? Didn’t he have to give the no doubt tens of dollars he made from these ventures to the Browns, as part of the whole “Sorry I got all throat-slashy on your daughter/sister” civil settlement?
I guess he just wanted an excuse for not looking for “the real killer”. Well, you got a pretty good one now, Juice: Rotting in prison!
Also, dude, rep Marcia Clark’s Swan Makeover