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Feminist Spidey Sense

Beyonce Gets a Free Pass at Not Being the World’s Best Feminist – Jordin Sparks Does Not

10.29.08 by Ande | 24 Comments | Digg This

A fellow blogger named Soltrane has written up a post on how Beyonce is pushing a neocon 1950s housewife agenda via her hetero-normative traditionalist lyrics. The writing is fab but the thoughts are not. Says Soltrane:

Beyonce is like the feds when it comes to promoting a conservative social agenda. She alone is policing social behavior like bill o’reilly is paying her do it. The whole time I’m getting down to her jams I’m just like “dang b! thats jacked up!” The messages in her songs almost always encourage patriarchy, female subservience, and heteronormativity like a mug! –pretty much conformity overall (including gender conformity) to the socially conservative status quo.

Says Ande: This is what happens when you allow people to major in “cultural studies”. Everything becomes an artifact that requires some weighty analysis. Sigh. Deconstructing Beyonce is like philosophizing about the Hills. Both are functionally retarded. Don’t get me wrong, Beyonce can sing and dance like nobody’s business – but stringing together coherent sentences to form original thoughts and worldly observations is not really her thing. Nor should it be. Beyonce doesn’t think twice about the words some overpaid song writer is putting in front of her mic. She sings them and looks pretty while doing it. Had she Been around in 1997, Beyonce would not have been added to the Lilith Fair line up. And that’s fine.

When we’re drunk at the ghey (2k8 spelling) club and a Beyonce song comes on, the last thing we want to do is dissect her words. We just want to get our jam on. And sometimes, that’s perfectly okay. And also, why the fuck not slap a ring on that shit!? Lord knows we gave up our adolescent asses to many a gentleman suitor without demanding the type of commitment or respect we deserved or wanted. While we aren’t pushing marriage or something serious, we’d rather ask a guy to slap a ring on it then be all “Oh hey, No that’s cool, you don’t need to call me back. No strings attached and all, right? But I’ll see you tomorrow night, right? RIGHT?! HELLO?!?!”

As for an impressionable thirteen year old girl listening with great admiration to her icon spouting about “put a ring on it”, we were once a thirteen year old girl and can pretty much guarantee those thirteen year olds are spending more time picking food out of their braces and dousing their faces in Sea Breeze than deconstructed Beyonce lyrics.

As for Jordin Sparks and her whole non-fucking promise ring:( reference point! Jordan seyz: “It’s not bad to wear a promise ring ‘cuz not everybody, guy or a girl, wants to be a slut, OK?”) I can’t wait till Obama is president and the Christian extremists crawl back to their mega churches and are not given a voice to spew their dogmatic propaganda all over the rest of us non-believing, un-Americans. Singing about being a wife is okay. Preaching to a mainstream audience composed of people from all different religious affiliations about saving it for Jesus or whatever is not. Ever. OK??

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