In the enchanted land of Internet there is a province named Blogistan. Deep in the gullies and caves of Blogistan dwell remarkable creatures: Lady Bloggers.
The Lady Bloggers are a small, industrious tribe who are largely defined by their sparkling humor and voracious wit. The nymphs of Blogistan are rare because unlike most women who populate the Internet they don’t rely on webcams, lipdubs, or images of their labia to cultivate an audience. Instead they use, well, WORDS. We covet and salute them.
SO! Put on some Kathleen Hannah, slip out of those skinny jeans and enjoy our favorite, lesser known and therefore all the more precious Lady Bloggers.
The Kitty-Cage Awards! YAAAY!!
This girl understands the medium. Her posts are succient, succulent morsels of funny. An observant Angelino whose quips about TeeVee, hiptards, and wildfires are a total delight. I want to try on Liana’s clothes and be her bestie.
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I hate San Francisco. I want their micro-greens poisoned, and their community murals decimated. But if I could save a handful of people it would be the ladies over at SF Weekly’s Heartless Doll blog. Their commentary on sex, gender, the webs has all the irreverence and dishy-ness that made you love Jezebel (without the slew of self-important commenters. sorry, jezzies, LYLASz).
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This chick is a gasp of fresh air during my neon-flooded cubicle days. Her tumblr is a perfect blend of cheeky humor, pop culture, and sesnitive smart girl zingers. Such as: “I need a hug that feels the way hot apple cider tastes.” Oof! She cuts to the core of me! Follow her now. |
Writer, comedienne, owl enthusiast. JK is mos def a rising star on the sketch comedy scene. Lucky for us her blog is not some self-promotional blurb fest. It’s filled with hilarious lists, quirky videos, and general brillz. Here’s a taste from her Hero’s/Villans list of 2008:
“Sharks, put simply, are evil loners with rows of teeth made out of knives. They hate me and you, and sometimes they rape baby seals just for fun. Which doesn’t sound too bad until you remember that they have guns for dicks. “
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Do I even need to tell you about MC? If you don’t already read her I demand blood atonement for crimes against shame-cave owners. She’s the editor of the Best Week Ever blog which is the best, I mean this because i read 679 of them, THE BEST pop culture blog. I’d kill a basket of babies to write headlines like her (white babies). |
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There’s a scene towards the end of “Whose afraid of Virginia Woolf” where the sadomasochistic couple George and Martha sit together and peel the labels off of beer bottles while they take the piss out of each other (METAPHOR, MOTHERFUCKERS). The scene is hilarious/heartbreaking and the climax of the play. Well you can get that kind of epic literary climax every Friday with “Lindsay and Gabe’s Friday Fight” on Videogum While the subject matter may be Don Draper, Sphaghetti Cat or any other ephemera it’s still every bit as incisive, high-minded, and riotously funny. Suck it, Albee. |
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Have you The Road, or Blindness? Or any other post-apocalyptic treatise about the triumph of the human spirit despite the soul-crushing abyss that engulfs the remaining shred of the human race? Well, that’s Sarah. She’s like a renegade, grenade throwing, take-no-prisoners SURVIVOR of the media blood bath of 2008. Riddled by staff turn over, liquidated by Gawker Media Overlord Nick Denton, discarded by advertisers, she is one of the merry band of scribes that keeps Wonkette alive. Because of her skill (along with Jim and Ken’s) I think this is the best incarnation of Wonkette yet. Here’s my favorite Sarah post.
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Other ladies we love Kelly Reeves, Katie Bakes, Bohemea, and Julia Baugher.
Just when you thought someone had popped the cherry of my man-pussy and killed me… No… I’m still skulking the web, still reading PSI and watching re-runs of Sex and the City on TBS, and still finding it simply irresistable. My friends would question my man-loyalty, they would accuse me of being queer, or worse, being a constestant on “Bromance” with new hot ass and step brother kardashian, Brody Jenner. No, when you look at him, you do go gay for about 1.2 seconds. I don’t care how straight you think you are…. (Incidentally, same thing happens to black dudes when they look at prince, but not as much as when “purple rain” the movie came out? Was that a fucking movie?) Anyway, to hang a phallus and a couple of rubber balls on this post, just like “Sex Change Hospital”, I propose the best NFL smart ass blog that we suspect is secretly run and controlled by the Jews. It’s too goddamn funny to come from whites. Just when you thought Jews didn’t like sports…. Anyway, here it is:
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/
You must read the articles about marmalard (Phillip Rivers / QB Chargers) and Kutlerfucker (Jay Kutler / QB Broncos)
Proof positive that:
#1. A few smart people are watching football.
#2. I’m not taking it in the ass just because I read PSI.
#3. Brody Jenner is not queer; Just an attention whore.
(and if he was, we’d fuck him!)
WB2 — I believe in your testicular fortitude.
I’m not sure you will be after you review the best movie I’ve seen since “Home for the Holidays”. It’s called “Calendar Girls” and I’m pretty sure that it is based on a true story. What happens when a middle aged English woman is widowed? She fights cancer head on with 11 of her bff’s, true gilfs and milfs mind you, and creates a nudey calendar to raise money for cancer research. It’s on BBC. A must see for those who always wanted a “How to Make an American Quilt” crossed with “Thelma and Louise” with a dash of “Steel Magnolias”. No really, a must see. Upon watching and loving this movie I had to check me knickers to make sure I still had a penis and not a giant man labia with a pair of bollocks attached.
Total British Tart-dom. You will love it when the character “Eddie” is embarassed, comes home from being away a week “at work”, and let’s his wife know that he already knows about her nudie calendar participation by saying:
“No, I already know, some bloke asked me who is the old tart with her tits out? I had to say, ‘me wife’!”