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That Huckabees Director Guy Called, He Wants His Fucking Tirade Back: Bale is Not Hot Enough to be Such A Twat

02.03.09 by Ande | 2 Comments | Digg This

Listen up thesps, you cannot get away with this kind of behavior just because you memorize a bunch of lines and repeat them with various forced emotions in front of a camera. If a brain surgeon was interrupted by a nurse throwing a banana peel into a patient’s open scalp while he was operating, then yes, the surgeon would be justified in giving the nurse a verbal punch to the nuts. Batman tripping up a line because someone distracted him does not.

Look, Christian Bale has had a soft spot in my heart ever since he played the cute little British boy that¬†shacked up with John Malcovich in Empire of the Sun. That spot shriveled up and gave me acid reflux after hearing Bale’s temper tantrum.

But his pompous ass needs to get behind Joaquin Phoenix and his faux rap career in the “actors who are fucking killing me with their shenanigans.”

Bale is not hot enough or talented enough to get away with his fucking antics that were splayed across every office computer around the world yesterday. (However, he may be crazy enough. Remember that time he allegedly beat on his MOM and SISTER !?) You have to earn these outbursts. And it takes years of asshole-ish behavior to get there. Alec Baldwin and the rude little pig anyone? HE EARNED THAT! Plus you have to be somewhat charming in your downtime, which Bale has yet to prove he can be.


So until then, Bale should stick to playing pretend for millions of dollars and indulge in typical asshole actor behavior like fucking hookers in the elevator at the Chateau Marmont and kicking puppies at Runyon Canyon – then follow that up with a press tour of himself feeding starving African babies and in a few years he might be allowed to get away with being such a dick.

 

In the meantime, here’s a dope remix!

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