Something Something Rhymes With Politics

High School Yearbook Photos Are Windows Into The Soul: Nancy Pelosi Wore Pads Til Graduation

02.12.09 by Sarah | 9 Comments | Digg This

Joe Biden was like that popular, involved-in-everything (French club, track team, tax audit enthusiasts, class president — or maybe VICE president, HMMM?) guy who was still inexplicably nice to even the nerdiest of nerds. You also know that he had the same girlfriend for like ever. But that one time at a party he gave you a ride home, you wanted the hug goodbye to last forever.
Nancy Pelosi – Given her surname you know that this was the girl who taught you how to properly wax your eyebrows and upperlip. You and Nans would occasionally carpool but she would get pissy with you when you were just, like, 30 seconds late! Christ, let’s face it you had several pages of burn book devoted to that uptight ‘yatch.
Huckabee- I mean, people do we even have to say it? I shudder to think what kind of disgusting lawn clippings kids in Arkansas were forced to smoke back in the day.
Wait, I thought these were high school yearbook photos? Someone must have slipped a photo of George W. Bush at his bachelor party into the deck.
Check out Blagojevich. You know he was a booger-eating dork that even other nerds made fun of. No wonder he grew up to be so power-hungry: He spent his formative years getting shoved into lockers and trying to impress the jocks with his drawings of ligers and rambling stories about shooting wolverines in Alaska.
Hey, who’s this handsome yet slightly douchey-looking devil? HOLY SHIT IT’S CHENEY. Let’s all thank the merciful deity of our choice that pure evil is bad for the complexion, because if Cheney was still this good-looking, in addition to being an evil genius, he’d be President Of The Entire World, Forever.

See the rest of the photos here and invent your own origin stories.


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