Lifestyles of the Bitch and Blog Famous

Not Strunk But Definitely White: The Elements of Style 2k9 Edish

05.19.09 by Natasha | 8 Comments | Digg This

Not sure which phrases to ban from your Tweetixicon? It all depends on the KATIE BAKER SCALE OF INTERNET ACCEPTABILITY.

Do you know Katie? She’s a delight and something of a Good Witch of the Internet East. So Katie, you’re a populist (like Dubya! A Yale-groomed, straight-talkin’ salty grain of The Earth). You’re free of snobbery. You’ve even been accused of “liking too many things.”  And I say GREAT! While you embrace the popular I think you know when to draw that line. Rarely do I giggle at kthnxbye but you rep it, and rep it well.
Katie, sometimes I act like a black hooded, hollowed eyed, harbinger of FAIL. To avoid prematurely stomping on still valueable, lul-worthy memes, will you put your meta-pants on and explain when it’s ok to use certain phrases? Take it away, Katie!


1. YALL vs. YA’LL vs. Y’ALL– So guilty of this one, yall!! crls fault. I like it best when he uses it at the start of a post. Ya’ll is NEVER ok bc it is gramatically incorrect. I don’t even like y’all with the apostrophe. It shows too much effort. It should be one word. Yall. I use it paired with l8rz. Best used with ironic exclamation points which are in and of themselves becoming tired. Jesus, the universe is imploding.

2. YO DAWG-Never ok unless you can use photoshop.

3. WANT. I prefer to use <3 <3 <3 in its place. Yeah, maybe that’s worse but emoticons and their brethren are inherently amusing if you ask me. And you did ask me       

4. KTHNX BYE: just toss in a quick kthx. Needs to be breezy and flippant and best used at the end of an incoherent stream of consciousness request for information.

5. (Ironic use of) LOL: Never been a LOLer, probs because I used it unironically too much when I was a child star on the internet. (have I sent you the business week article btw? srs question.) the problem is that I used to read it as el oh el and now I read it as loll which annoys me. i think a well placed one is fine but it’snot part of my reportoire. i don’t know how to spell that word. LOLOLOLOL.


BONUS: I decided this morning that I want some sort of abbreviation for ZOMG (because it isn’t succinct enough) sort of like lulz for LOL. I was thinking zomz because when I read zomg in my mind I pronounce it “zo em gee”

ps: “so this happened” = no. FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU = no.

pps: true confessions: I laugh every time Brian Van reblogs some random tumblr’s girl’s self taken photo latenight and just writes HEY GURL. My achilles heel is that I’m a sucker for brian van in general.

ppps: srsly = always ok. 


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