Dell Computers recently launched the Della, a netbook aimed at women. They all came in pastel colors, natch, and were touted as great ways to find recipes, manage our diets, and map our fitness routines. Wow, we’re still supposed to cook, even though we’re not allowed to eat?! UGH if you want peddle women-friendly laptops put a one-click RU486 ordering website in the bookmarks and a high def screen for watching RDJ porn (Sherlock Holmes has a PG-13 rating?? WHAT?)
In the face of massive backlash for insulting half the human race with their condescending marketing, Dell has re-vamped the Della site (THNX 4 THE FEEDBACK, SISTAS!). However, it still contains an online video on how to shop. *facepalm* And it’s still nearly impossible to find any specs on the netbook. Because numbers and technology confuse our tiny ladybrains!
If there was one childhood activity that was completely gender-neutral, surely it was contacting the dead! Well, thank god, they found a way to girl it up! Ouija For Girls is pink (of course!) and comes with a set of 72 question cards. Because boys are just naturally better at thinking of what to ask once you’ve contacted the spirits of the dead! Girls need a little help with it.
Alas, there is probably no card with the question “Why did Hasbro feel it necessary to pink ghetto-ize a cherished childhood toy with this stereotypical bullshit?” But there is one that asks “How many calories am I burning off right now?” Head, meet desk!
Sick of pink yet? Well too bad, because I saved the most infuriating for last! “Fling” is a new candy bar that manages to cram every single tired stereotype about women into one head-splodey pink package. It’s called a “fling”, because women aren’t really supposed to consume calories, in spite of being universally crazy for chocolate, so it’s “naughty” teeeheee! But that’s okay, because it’s only 85 calories! Oh, and it’s glittery. No, really.
If all that doesn’t gross you out, how about this:
Wrapped in a shiny pink and sliver package, this delicate “chocolate finger” is intended for women. The word “finger” is an industry term for a long, slim confection, Mars spokesman Ryan Bowling says, but with ads that invite you to “Pleasure yourself” in pink lettering, consumers might come to other conclusions.
Until we can work out our fucked up Puritan attitudes to both food and sex, I don’t think we should be mixing them up.