As I considered buying a ubiquitous pair of gladiator sandals, I got to thinking about the worst fashion trends of the past 5 years. After much research and soul searching, I’ve come to the conclusion that skull emblazoned clothing is by far the worst trend of the past 5 years. It is the definitive marker of a gaping asshole.
Worse than uggs, more preposterous than leggings, more offensive than ass cleavage, more horrifying the skinny jeans and a disco baggy vest ( THAT MEANS YOU LOHAN), worse than Darfur totebags, and plastic cancer bracelets, yes my friends even worse iconic hipster bandanna ironically wrapped around acne ravaged neck, skull t-shirts/hoodies/backpacks/scarves/thongs are THE worst thing to happen to men and women’s bodies since the creation of Arby’s
I assume bedazzled skulls on $45 dollar t-shirts are supposed to be type of cheeky reclamation. Like a “oh look, i know skulls are usually worn by pirates and Nazis but now I’m wearing it! With sparkles!” Even the NYT thinks so damnit:
The skull has lost virtually all of its fearsome outsider meaning. It has become the Happy Face of the 2000’s.
So just let that be a warning. Would you EVER where a smiley face these days? Or a t-shirt adorned those bizzare little faceless cartoon people who would hold up the peace signs? If you’re still not convinced, would you ever wear anything CARMEN ELECTRA WEARS?
I didn’t think so.
But is it worse than mantyhose?
happy face of the 2000s. amen.