5 Things I hate
1. Frumputantes – Fat slobs running around in dirty sweat pants – with a Coach purse. Buying the smallest Coach bag with the most noticeable label on it does not count as effort. Washing your clothes, putting down the chicken nugget, getting a hairstyle from this millenium – that’s effort.
2. Weddings – Cause Bar Mitzvahs were so much more fun
3. Jonas Brothers – Their ugliness freaks me out. And that whole Jesus thing – so 2004.
4. People who say, “I heard this story on NPR” more than three times in a single conversation. We get it – you’re too cheap to pay for cable.
5. The smell of vitamins. Because tattoos and marathons are too obvious.
Runners up: People who don’t gun it when getting onto a freeway – Seriously, I want to choke you. People who don’t know the difference between you’re and your. Daylight savings time. The entire Hogan family. Dreadlocks. Every single person who has ever been on The Hills – except that Stephanie Pratt, I kinda like her.