1. The internet – take the entire spectrum of humanity, brilliant and vibrant, catty and cruel, innovative and industrious, and put it all at your fingertips. Free porn too!
2. Los Angeles Freeways – when they’re clear and you can drive with the palm trees flickering by, Jay-z cranking on the stereo, you will never feel so free.
3. Pork Ribs – If I wasn’t so vain I would eat them every day. Is there anything more satisfying than tears into succulent, salty, charred flesh? NO.
4. Good fiction – take the English language and make it dance.
5. The American South – The civil war, southern gentility, the decaying formality, the utter remoteness of it all mixed with authentic Americana, its fucking fabulous.
Runners up: 16 hour Law and Order Marathons, Gawker circa 2004, inside jokes, The Third Man, the 20 minute europhia that hits after you take ambien, the Atlantic Monthly, Pauline Kael, my GPA from UCLA, being ignored by good looking men. LOLCATS!! I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!!