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06.02.09

Say Hello To the Gods of ‘The Barely Menstrual’: Starlet Roll Call and Cheat Sheet News That's Too Serious For MSNBC (18)

Sunday night’s MTV Movie awards, while totally amusing, proved once and for all that MTV is the network of rugrats. The Olds (in the MTV handbook, anyone over 22) are being ignored while the not yet able to drive or menstruate or do their hair properly tween fetuses are the ruling landlords of the pop cultural [...]
05.08.09

When Youngins FAIL the Olds Step In To Remind Them of the Good Old Days of The Running Man: Stanky Leg, Let’s Talk About it. Let's Talk Shit! (1)

One time, right before my 30th birthday, a car full of teenagers driving in front of me flicked a lit cigarette out their window. It came rolling up on the hood of my car narrowly missing my window, flying onto my lap, and setting me on fire. I pulled up next to the teens and [...]
12.16.08

We Review Movies So Ben Lyon’s Doesn’t Have to! : ‘Mall Cop’, We Wish Chris Farley Was Still Alive When the lights go down (2)

It’s movies like this that are going to put Hollywood on the Next to Ask for a Government Bailout list.
Imagined pitch to studio execs for Paul Blart: Mall Cop: “He’s fat! His name rhymes with fart! He works at the mall! ROFL ensues!” Meanwhile, hungover execs are updating their Facebook status and throw out: ‘Put a gay [...]
10.29.08

Beyonce Gets a Free Pass at Not Being the World’s Best Feminist - Jordin Sparks Does Not Feminist Spidey Sense (8)

A fellow blogger named Soltrane has written up a post on how Beyonce is pushing a neocon 1950s housewife agenda via her hetero-normative traditionalist lyrics. The writing is fab but the thoughts are not. Says Soltrane:
Beyonce is like the feds when it comes to promoting a conservative social agenda. She alone is policing social behavior [...]
10.24.08

Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t, Lifecast: The Internet’s Unicorn Has Been Killed Digg If You Will... (5)

I feel like a bystander to some of act violence. Radar was my favorite corner of the internet. It made me so fucking proud to write for them. I printed this out in case the internet ever tried to take it away from me. I could go on. And on.
Here’s your dose of pretty:
10.10.08

Let Us Now Hate Semi-Famous Men: DEAN REYNOLDS, The Douche-raker Let's Talk Shit! (1)

Do you hear that? That wet, flapping sound? Don’t be alarmed friends! It’s just the the sound of one old-media prick being an insufferably entitled docuhe bag. Dean Reynolds, a campaign correspondent for CBS recently saddled up to the to world wide web to type up a little missive about, as he called it, “How [...]
09.09.08

It’s Tuesday people, let’s talk about TV: A Sexy Girl In An Army Jacket Does A Not Freak (or Geek) Make Give me cable or give me death (14)

Assertion!: Freaks and Geeks is not a good show. No, stop arguing. You know it and I know it, the show is no good. Maybe because we’ve all grown a little weary of Apatow formula of raunchy moralization tales, or because it just has hasn’t aged well, the show struck me as a [...]
08.01.08

My Precious Formative Years: Choking Yourself Until You Pass Out For Fun And Dates with the D.A.R.E. Cop News That's Too Serious For MSNBC (6)

Slut Machine prolifically declared that the asphyxiation/fainting game played by suburban youths nationwide is the true gateway drug - not weed. I did a little investigating to try and figure out what drew these privileged kids (myself included) to partake in something so insanely dumb and dangerous — 82 kids have died from this [...]
07.28.08

A 10 Day Retrospective: REGRET HAD THE BEST WEEK(ISH) EVER! Variations on a Theme (2)

Roll the clips!
1.Shia LaBeouf was arrested for DUI last night after drunkenly colliding with another car and flipping his truck at the intersection of LaBrea and Fountain in Los Angeles. He had to have hand surgery; also some other people were hurt, but they’re not famous so no one cares. Come back when you have [...]
07.17.08

Objectify This!: The Top 10 Boy Bloggers We’d Let Rub Our Touchpads Lifestyles of the Bitch and Blog Famous (18)

So URLesque our newest little addiction put out a top 20 list of lady bloggers they want to see in bikinis. Rather, than responding with some shrill feminist outrage we’d figure we’d counter with getting our own objectification on!
Now, our criteria is a bit different. Since our ladybrains are tingled by a sense of humor [...]